So long, Beijing...

And so the Beijing Olympics come to an end. Two weeks of watching TV in the middle of the night are over and will be sorely missed, unlike the BBC's excruciating Olympic Monkey, whose departure at last from our screens is surely worthy of national celebration.

Yes, I know the Monkey theme was based on a classic Chinese story. And Demon Days was one of my in-car CDs for ages. But in my opinion, choosing an evil-looking razor-toothed monkey, an unshaven pig and a hugely irritating electronic arpeggio for the Olympic theme just plain sucked.

But that's a minor gripe. The BBC's coverage of the action and studio punditry were excellent, as was the use of digital TV to allow viewers a choice of different sports and summary shows on the appropriately-named "red button".

Well done to China for putting on a great show. The BBC reported that China faked the little girl singing in the red dress and some of the footprint fireworks, but as experts themselves in faking children's competition results, they wisely chose not to carry out a Panorama investigation.

But perhaps the most amazing aspect of the games was the performance of the British team. Two hundred and four teams of athletes trudged into the stadium during the opening ceremony, and Team GB came.... fourth! FOURTH! Amazing! China, the US, Russia... and then Great Britain! Some less successful nations (ie the Australians) complained that we won most of them sitting down in boats or on bicycles, but enough of whinging Aussies. My admiration and congratulations go to every one of our medal winners, and quite a few who fought hard but won't come home with a medal!

Speaking of medals, Michael Phelps' 8 golds in the pool won't be easily beaten. Usain Bolt's insanely brilliant 100m win won't be easily forgotten. And two weeks of lost sleep won't be easily made up. But I should be recovered by the next Olympics, which will, of course, be based in London in 2012.

Here in Britain, a faint hint of panic is already in the air in as we wonder how we are going to match Beijing on about a third of the budget. Having witnessed the committee-designed contents of the Millennium Dome in 2000, I share some of the sense of unease. But heck, that's for the future. Beijing is still fresh in the memory.

And I loved it all!



Well... except him! :)

A massive story...

Since I'm currently in a mood to post screenshots, here's my favourite today, from the BBC Technology pages.

Presumably this database is under consideration in order to stop the government being accused of sizeism by those on the National Midget Database. Giants will of course be concerned about their data being kept secure, given the government's record of losing data.

A lesson in inconsistency...

One of the keys to good communication is consistency. When you refer to something, don't call it something else two sentences later, because your audience might just become confused.

At the moment I am engaged in the so-far unrewarding task of looking for a job. Much of the research is done online, using job websites. Some of the sites are better than others in terms of usability, but I've just found this amazing example of inconsistency:



In this single screenshot, in just one part of one dialog box, the site has managed to use three different terms for the same thing!

Industry Sectors. Job Categories. Job Sectors.

Perhaps I'm being unfair. After all, I can think of at least three different adjectives to describe the user interface on this particular job site...

Gibberinglish...

I know I'm being picky. I know that websites are put together on the fly, often in a great rush. But even so I'm amazed at the mistakes that appear. The picture above is a caption on a current BBC story. "...described to be living..."??

The Brits #2

Here in Britain, our Labour government has today broken new legal ground by announcing plans to introduce a law allowing businesses to do what they are already allowed to do.

Our Equality Minister Harriet Harman has, according to the BBC, announced plans to allow businesses, when recruiting or promoting, "to choose a woman over a man of equal ability if they wanted to - or vice versa."

That's good news. The sooner that the government gets its finger out and implements these plans, the sooner businesses will be able to carry on choosing a man or a woman for the role. Or vice versa.

Ms Harman's suitability for her own role remains, it has to be said, in some doubt. Along with the rest of her (mostly white male) government colleagues, of course.

The Brits #1

If you are a tennis fan, you'll know that the annual Wimbledon tennis championships are underway in south London this week. The first two or three days of this two-week competition are important, because it's during those first two or three days that the British players are in action.

Today on the BBC, I watched retired player Tim Henman grinning as he assured us viewers that the latest British hope, Chris Eaton, (rated 661 in the world), has "nothing to lose" when he plays today.

Just moments later we were treated to an interview with the top British woman player, Anne Keothavong, (rated 92 in the world), grinning as she assured us viewers that she has "nothing to lose" when she plays Venus Williams on centre court.

I need to go out soon, but when I get home, I confidently expect to see that both British players did, despite assurances otherwise, have something to lose. Probably in straight sets.

Garbage in...

Here in the UK we placed an online order for some genuine American peanut butter the other day, from The Stateside Candy Company - I highly recommend them, by the way.

Today I received an e-mail (not from them), confirming the all-important package is on its way! Yippee! In order to allow me to track this vital package online, the e-mail includes a link to the Parcelforce website. Sadly the link doesn't work. Possibly because, in full, it is

http://tracking.parcelforce.net/aisie/SNP_aisie.php?Key=4A584C4C505C4B04687F6E1F057F0A0A0C7A0A7C0F0E0A0F0C0E0A7B0A010A0B0A000A0C0D780A7F08780B7D0C7A0A000B000A7C0A0D0A0C080E0B7F0A0C0B7A080C090F0A010B0B0B000B0E0C0F0A7C0A7C0E7A0C0F0B7C0B7D0A0D0B010A7C0C010B090E7A097D0C0B0A010A700B0D0A7B0A0E0C7A0E08087D090A080C090C0A080A010B780B090C090B0B0A7D097F0D0F0A7B0A7B0A0D0B010F7D0F00097C080A090E090B0F0C0F7D0F0E0F0A0F0809780E7A0F780E09080C090C0A080A010B78080D0C010A010A7F0E7A09080F0F0F000F000F780F0F09010E7B0E7A080B0C0F0A010A7D0A0D0B01090B0C7A0B780F0E0F0E0E090B0A0B780B0C0A0C0A7D0C7A0A7C08000B7C0C0E0A0A0F0D090B097C080809010E0C0F7F0E0A080C080C0A0F0A7F0B000A000C7C0B0B0A7F0B0D0E7D0A0E0A0D0A0D0F0E08780E0F090D080D0F080E7D0800080C0809080D0E0F0F000B0A0B000A0C0E090A000A7D0A0D087C0B0A0D7D0E08080C0800090B0F0A0E000F08097C0900087F08010A0C0A0F0C7D080B0B780B0C0F0E080B0E01090B0801080D0F08097F0E7F080B0A0C0B0C0C0E0A010B010A010E090A000A7D0A0D087C0B0A0D7D0E08087D090A080C090D0A7A0B090B7F0A0C0D780A01097C0A010D0A0A0A0F0D0809080F087A087F087F0A7F0B090D080A0C0A08090C0B0A0B090C7A0E080F01

If however I simply go to http://tracking.parcelforce.net I can track my order just fine. Funny that.

(PS I have cunningly changed one early character in that long link, just to prevent any chance of hackers intercepting my peanut butter delivery.)

My First Blog Post...

Back in April 1999 I wrote a blog post, but I had one problem... the term blog was only just being invented. (According to Wikipedia, the term weblog appeared in 1997 and the derivation blog didn't appear until April or May 1999.) So I left my post in a Word document that I just found deep in My Documents last night.

Nine years later, here's what I wrote...

The Right to Die
Today is Thursday 15 April 1999. The headline of my newspaper this morning asks “Who Bombed the Refugees?”. As I write this, the answer is uncertain, but it appears increasingly likely that NATO aircraft, undertaking a mission over Kosovo against the Serbian forces of Slobodan Milosevic, may have attacked a refugee convoy by mistake. Whatever the truth, several dozen fleeing refugees died violently overnight, and many more will be left grieving as a result.

On page 2 is an article concerning the murder of 17-year-old Ashley Robinson, who on Monday night was found dead in a Guildford street, asphyxiated and probably sexually assaulted. A shocking story, a young life savagely ended.

A few pages futher on is an interview with a survivor of the Hillsborough tragedy. Ten years ago today, she was lifted clear of the crush at Sheffield Wednesday’s stadium, where poor crowd control had forced far too many people into terracing closed in by wire fencing. Ninety-six people were not so fortunate, and were literally crushed to death.

In each of these three cases we feel horror at the story, and for similar reason. These people - helpless refugees, a young schoolgirl, fans looking forward to a football match - had their lives torn away violently, by the actions or inactions, deliberate or misguided, of others.

This week another story of death through the action of another has made the front pages. Jack Kevorkian has been jailed by a court in Michigan for administering a lethal chemical cocktail to Thomas Youk, who was suffering from terminal Lou Gehrig’s disease. As a result of that injection Youk died quickly and painlessly. But what distinguishes this death from those mentioned earlier is that Youk chose to die. His wife and his friends fully supported him in his decision. Literally unable to commit suicide, he asked Kevorkian to help. Whether or not Kevorkian is guilty of a crime under American law does not change the fact that Thomas Youk did not die against his will. Far from it. He chose to die.

The deaths of Ashley Robinson, the Hillsborough victims, and the Kosovar refugees shock us because these people did not choose to die. Their deaths were violations of their most basic right, the right to life. Those who argue against assisted dying must answer a fundamental question.

What value has the right to life, if one has no right to die?

Every Little Helps...

I recently received a new Tesco clubcard. The accompanying letter asks me to be sure and sign the back of my new card.

The photograph to the left shows the miniscule box provided for my signature.

I evidently need to learn a bit more about thermal dip pen nanolithograpy.

Keep your fingers crossed...

From our kitchen window I noticed an unfamiliar black cat in the back yard today. I realised the cat was watching something... a small bird, sat in the middle of the grass, apparently oblivious.

I watched as the cat crept forward, and then tried to spring at the little bird. It missed and the bird managed to flutter over the swiping paws and into some bushes under the kitchen window.

A few minutes later I took some recycling outside, only to spot the same little bird, this time walking about on the patio beside our garden chairs. I realised it was a young Blue Tit. I also realised the cat was on the path at the side of our house, still watching the little creature.

I tried to shoo the cat away, and the fledgling Blue Tit decided to try flying off... straight at the cat which made a half-hearted second effort to grab the bird before fleeing.

The little bird hopped its way down the path as I followed until it reached the dead end. It wouldn't have a hope against the cat there. Very slowly, I squatted down, kept very still for a couple of minutes while it just waited, bobbing its head. And then, very slowly, I picked it up. It couldn't quite fly. But it seemed uninjured and hopped happily on to my wrist, from where it just watched the world going by!

So I slowly walked back to our bird table and let the little creature hop off onto it. Then I went back indoors. The moment I stepped inside, an adult Blue Tit arrived at the bird table and seemed to be trying to feed seeds to the confused little bird!

I continued to watch as the adult repeatedly flew off and returned. And on about the fourth visit, the little bird just took off and followed the adult into the undergrowth at the far end of the garden! Yippee!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this little Blue Tit makes it to adulthood! :)

(Remarkably just as I finished writing this post, Janet spotted another little Blue Tit fledgling out on our patio, its nervous parents flittering about on nearby branches!)

If you'd like to learn a bit more, see http://www.garden-birds.co.uk/birds/bluetit.htm.

Ah, the irony...

Now that our Bank Holiday weekend is passed, today is the day that I officially start looking for a new job. My previous efforts in this regard were slightly interrupted by a rather nasty herniated disk in my neck and the need for spinal surgery, but I am now sufficiently recovered that I have no excuse not to be earning a crust.

I am, for my sins, an IT techie sort of person. So it was that I dusted off the CV I started in the middle of last year, made one or two amendments (mostly explaining the enforced delay), and hit the print button.

Nothing.

After a long wait, an error message appeared on my computer. I checked the paper tray. I switched the printer off and on. I verified I could ping it over our home network. I even deleted and reinstalled my printer driver.

Nothing.

It dawned on me that I hadn't actually tried printing since installing our new wireless ADSL router recently. (A previous post explains why we needed one!) I had a memory of reading one particular review of our new router which suggested some people had a problem with wireless items communicating with wired-in items. Despite the fact that I could *see* our wired-in printer using my wireless laptop, I tried the suggested cure - a telnet connection to the router to switch on internal bridging.

Nope. It wasn't that.

Only after further fiddling with the printer via its web interface did I find the problem. For reasons unknown, either it or our new router had helpfully changed the printer's name to DHCPPC3. I changed it back to HL-2070N (our brand of printer) and everything miraculously started working again.

So today has been just like being at work, really.

Now where did I put that CV??

Life on Earth...

I've just been watching the BBC's coverage of NASA's Martian lander, Phoenix, on BBC News 24. It was great coverage and the lander is safely on the Martian surface. My only complaint was that after mentioning that "we have received many e-mails about this", the BBC chose to read out only one - somebody moaning that the money spent on the mission could have been better spent on the sick and homeless.

I wonder how the sender can afford a computer, an internet account and a digital TV system to watch BBC News 24, given that they presumably give every spare penny they have to the needy...

Sorry, Neil...

A good week for The Ting Tings is complete with their debut album, We Started Nothing, entering the UK album chart at number 1.

It seems that in the process they have knocked Neil Diamond off top spot. Oh, shame.

For anyone interested, I have posted a few photographs I took at their recent gig in Oxford. (See my previous post for more on that.)

And given that this isn't actually a Ting Tings blog, I promise I'll try and find a different subject for my next post... :)

Something Unignorable...

Perhaps doubting their ability to remember the title under pressure, The Ting Tings declined to play Impacilla Carpisung during their set at the Carling Academy, Oxford, last night. Other than that, however, they played everything from We Started Nothing which, given that their only album thus far is a shade under 38 minutes long and they don't have any other songs I'm aware of, perhaps isn't surprising!

Gavin and I arrived at the Carling Academy shortly after 7pm. A few eager fans were queuing already so we decided to get into the venue and make sure we had somewhere tolerable to stand rather than go elsewhere for a pre-gig drink. Fortunately security let me in, presumably in the belief that I was somebody's dad or, given the age of some of the fans attending, somebody's grandad. I jest of course - there were at least two people older than me in the audience.

A notice on the door as we went in let us know that the headliners wouldn't be making an appearance until 9.15pm so we had plenty of time to kill. The support act, Modernaire, came on stage shortly after 8pm, were quirkily interesting and got a good reception from the crowd.

Once Modernaire left the stage, various roadies then appeared to fiddle with on-stage kit that hadn't been touched and had presumably been soundchecked when it was set up. Maybe it was something to do with adjusting the mixing desk, though why exactly it needed adjusting I'm not sure. Everything was set to VERY LOUD for Modernaire, and stayed that way for the rest of the evening.

Finally the Ting Tings arrived, Jules first to start a steady guitar riff for Katie's entrance and much applause. Perhaps wryly aware of the possible fleeting nature of their fame, they began with We Walk... we got the choice, if it all goes wrong, we walk...

Great DJ, Fruit Machine... One by one I mentally ticked off the various album tracks. Jules de Martino is a more than competent drummer, Katie White's guitar perhaps less virtuoso but it was an enjoyable enough bash! Somewhere during the gig, prior to playing the rather softer Traffic Light she told us something barely comprehensible about their having hangovers. Probably a result of celebrating their reaching number one the day before, but they didn't seem unduly soreheaded, even with the VERY LOUD mix. I made careful note of Katie's dress style for those interested. Specifically, she wasn't wearing a hat.

The main set closed with a good rendition of That's Not My Name, the crowd singing along as expected. And so they left the stage, leaving a choice of We Started Nothing or the aforementioned Impacilla Carpisung as encore. The Tings chose the former, carried it off well, and that was that!

Well worth a tenner - when do you get to see a number one band for that any more?

Good Tings Come in Threes...

OK, I hereby admit it. I am officially cool. Well, maybe not in my age group but somebody out there ought to think so. It was back in early February that I wrote my post about The Ting Tings . Since then I've kept a close eye (and appreciative ear) on this intriguing pair.

Monday May 19th 2008 is an auspicious date in the life of a Ting Ting. Not only is today the day that their first CD is released, (as opposed to the download album or the "vinyl/digital package"...) but it's also their first full day as occupants of a special place... the song I rambled about back in February, That's Not My Name, is number one on the UK Singles Chart today.

As if a CD launch and a number one single weren't enough, the Tings have a third reason to celebrate this day in history. Guess who's going to see them tonight...



OK, gotta go, I have a gig (are they still called gigs?) to go to! :)

Return to Bedlam...

So after a two-week trip to the USA, Janet and I have returned to the UK. Well, we returned a week ago actually but jetlag and a dodgy wireless box have somewhat delayed my posting.

First, piccies. Click HERE for a 16-photo "best of" collection, or HERE if you want to check out all 266 pictures of mine. (Later - sorry, the "best of" collection has since expired. Better get the kettle on...)

Our trip out went well, taking Continental from Heathrow (rather than Gatwick) for the first time. Our luggage even arrived on the same plane as we did! We stayed overnight in El Paso before heading north into New Mexico and Aunt Blanche's at Ruidoso. After three great days we moved to The Lodge in Cloudcroft for another three nights. During our stay there we visited Larry & Marcella in Mesilla. Our adventures with our rented Hyundai Tucson are too long to relate here...

After a great week in New Mexico we flew back to Houston where we caught up with Krista, Melanie & Brian and family and then stayed up in The Woodlands with Claudia. All in all we had a fantastic trip!

On the way home we had a perfect crystal-clear night-time view of Manhattan island from 35,000 feet... remarkable, not something we'll forget in a hurry!

Before I sign off, some observations about America:

1. The US media seem to be treating the current financial situation rather more calmly than the British press. After days of headlines about the "Credit Crunch" here in Britain before we left, the calmer American approach was both surprising and refreshing. Sure, the price of gas, rising food prices and a falling housing market were big news in America... but not the only news.

2. The US mass media has discovered environmentalism. Every second commercial on TV mentions efficiency, miles-per-gallon, lower emissions, recyclability... we saw recycling bins (collected every week, of course), we heard of real people already driving hybrid vehicles... I saw TV ads pushing greener energy, nuclear power, efficient coal usage... I was impressed! And was it my imagination or did I see more small cars on the road than I'm used to?

3. Here in Britain we are slowly and laboriously switching to digital TV, apparently one street at a time. The "digital switchover" will be complete sometime in 2012, if I remember rightly. In America the digital switchover has started and will finish in February next year. How come we are taking so long?

Enough! :)

When Wireless Works...

Sometime in early 2004 I decided to try going Wireless. Not wanting to invest too much cash in a technology that seemed, from experience at work, somewhat flakey I bought a cheap little unbranded wireless box from ebuyer, paying about £20 for it. I attached it to the little ADSL router I'd bought earlier from ebuyer for about the same amount. They worked flawlessly.

Some months later, we decided to get wireless for Janet. We paid around £100 for a combined ADSL modem and wireless unit, a DG834G from Netgear. It worked well.

In about August of that year I decided to "upgrade" and bought myself the same wireless box that Janet had, another Netgear DG834G, replacing my old and uncool combo of boxes. Despite weeks of fiddling, of tenderly trying to nurture the box into doing what it had been built to do; countless hours of tinkering with every possible setting, upgrading firmware and reinstalling drivers, it never worked properly and in October 2004 I gave up, chucked my fancy-but-useless Netgear box in the trash with real relish, and returned to my £20 unbranded wireless box and the old modem. They worked flawlessly.

When we bought our new house, I installed the old boxes here so we had wireless while we moved in. They worked flawlessly but we switched to Janet's Netgear DG834G once the moving was complete. After a couple of months it failed. It just stopped talking to ADSL. No wireless problem, just no ADSL. I thought ADSL had failed and even arranged for a BT engineer visit but fortunately figured out the problem first. It was a dead Netgear box. I had finally figured out the problem by switching back to my now aging combo. Unlike the Netgear, they worked flawlessly.

Perhaps unwisely, we bought a new Netgear, this time a DG834GT, a self-proclaimed "Super" version of our old unit. It's never been great, but for months now the wireless has been at best, poor to middling. I thought it was my laptop's wireless card. And my desktop's wireless card. And maybe Janet's wireless card too.

I hoped that a two-week break with us on vacation might give it some rest and recuperation. But on booting up the box on our return from vacation, the signal was barely readable upstairs.

In despair yesterday I decided to fish out my ancient ADSL router and unbranded wireless point and just see if they did any better. I simply plugged them all back in. They still work flawlessly.

My Dell laptop now sees a permanent "Excellent"-standard 11 Mbps signal here in our room. I'd actually forgotten how fast the internet can feel with a decent wireless signal. Netgear router number three - still technically under warranty, I realise - will soon be heading for the recycling. Of course, nothing lasts forever and one day my ancient kit will fail. If anyone has any suggestions for a reliable brand of ADSL wireless router, please let me know.

Whatever you do, however, please not suggest I try Netgear. To be fair, Janet's original unit worked well for about three years, but I'd still rather use two tin cans and a length of string than a Netgear wireless router.

Now that I have a usable wireless system again, I'll post some vacation pictures and a blog summary soon!

Reverse Psychology...

The government are urgently asking everyone not to "panic-buy" petrol. Make sure you tell all your friends, family and workmates, so they don't panic-buy either...

I'm it (apparently)...

It seems I have been "tagged" by Janet! In her entry for 14 April 2008 she passes on a number of questions... so here are my answers!

What was I doing ten years ago?

Well, ten years ago I was living in the small Hertfordshire town of Borehamwood and working in IT for Saffery Champness. I was probably already one of the three-man Year 2000 Planning Committee along with David and Andrew, and we met periodically to agree, correctly it transpired, that we didn't need to do much of anything. Sadly my father had died the previous October, but on a brighter note Janet and I were planning further trips to see each other and enjoying taking rather blue-tinted pictures with our early Casio digital cameras!

5 snacks I enjoy

• Toasted cheese sandwiches
  
• Cadbury's Dairy Milk (And not Hershey's poor copy, either!)
  
• Muller Corner yogurts
  
• McSweeney's "Good as Gold" Original Smoked Beef Steak Nuggets
  
• Salted peanuts
  

Things I would do if I were a billionaire

Following our visit to the International Space Station, (and having paid the astronomical bills required to whichever personal trainer could get us fit enough to make that journey), I would spend as much Janet would let me, splitting it between renewable energy research and organisations promoting culturally-sensitive population control. I'd probably spend anything left over on flying lessons and a more reliable instrument panel for my first-generation Ford Focus.

5 jobs I have had

• Sandwich maker at a motorway service station
  
• Cleaner at a student halls of residence
  
• Clerical Assistant in the Civil Service
  
• Computer programmer writing pension software
  
• IT manager for a firm of accountants
  

3 bad habits

• Getting mad at inanimate objects (particularly telephones)
  
• Snacking (now where did I put those steak nuggets?)
  
• Using too many parentheses when I write (though I'm working on it)
  

5 places I have lived

• In Swindon
  
• In a flat in West Hampstead with 4 girls
  
• On a houseboat next to Battersea Bridge
  
• In Borehamwood
  
• And best of all, here in Oxfordshire with Janet!
  

5 people I want to know more about

• My nieces, Jennifer & Melissa, who live in far-away Mexico
  
• Jules and Katie of The Ting Tings
  
• ...and of course... JANET! :)
  

And finally... who am I going to tag? Well, actually, nobody. With due respect to those ahead of me (or is it behind me?) in the chain, I'm not really a big fan of chain letters, spam, pyramid selling etc etc etc and so I'm afraid I'm not going to pass it on!

A Dead Loss...

I happened to watch episode one of ITV's new hit US import Pushing Daisies yesterday evening. It was OK - visually distinctive and an amusing enough premise, though I'm not sure I'll make too much effort to catch the next episode. Which here in the UK will be episode three. Apparently ITV "don't have room in their schedules" for episode two.

Oh.

Perhaps there's a job going in the scheduling department at ITV...

A jawdropping offer...

That's right... save a whole penny! (Click the photo for a better look!)

One is impressed...

It isn't often I find myself compelled to dish out unreserved praise in my blog.

But I have to congratulate HRH Prince Henry of Wales for serving Queen and country in Afghanistan. Harry deserves as much praise as any other brave soldier for risking life and limb on the front line.

Of course Prince Harry isn't any other soldier. Sending Harry, who happens to be both a serving soldier and a member of the British royal family, to Afghanistan was the right thing to do but not a decision to be taken lightly.

For that reason I also have to congratulate the Ministry of Defence for actually doing that right thing and sending him on active duty; I congratulate the government for sanctioning that decision and I congratulate the British media for agreeing to keep the story quiet and sticking to that agreement.

In the end, the story broke elsewhere and the right thing to do, for the safety of all involved, was to bring Prince Harry home.

Well done, one and all.

In this day and age...

I'm on the Birmingham Airport's arrivals web page and I would register for SMS updates so that if anything delays her flight while I am on route to collect Janet this afternoon, I will get a text letting me know.

Sadly, BHX's website doesn't know about leap years, so today appears to be the one day every four years when I can't register for updates....

Quel un plonkeur...

A man who thought he could walk from Bristol to India relying entirely on the kindness of strangers has given up, after reaching Calais. Apparently, his problem was that he couldn't speak French....

Oh joy...

I've just spoken to Janet who has, after some delay, arrived at her hotel in Stavanger, Norway, to give a training course tomorrow. Sadly it transpires that the hotel does not, as advertised on the web, offer room service.

The good news is that, from her room, she can order a Dolly Dimples Norwegian Pizza.

Yum.

Dirty Harry, anyone?

Right Back Where We Started From...

It's just a law of the universe. Whenever you hear a likeable but unfamiliar song on the radio, the DJ never tells you who it was. Admittedly, DAB radios sometimes show the artist's name on a screen, but I don't have a DAB radio in my car.

This afternoon, I took a drive into Banbury town centre. I got my hair cut, picked up my contact lenses, popped into Sainsburys on the way home and bought some apples and a loaf of bread. The world's slowest lady was of course in front of me in the fast checkout queue. Another law of the universe. In short, an utterly normal day.

Except today wasn't a normal day at all. It was the first time I've driven into Banbury since my cervical spine operation on 3 January. And the first time I've had my hair cut since then, so you can imagine the improvement there.

As I drove, I turned on my radio and listened to Steve Wright's show on Radio 2. I heard two songs I didn't know but rather liked. Naturally, Steve didn't identify either. I'll have to check if there's a Radio 2 playlist on the web.

Speaking of playlists, while I was recuperating from my operation, I thought of a fun project. Once upon a time, back in the mid '70s, when my music equipment comprised one mono Grundig cassette recorder and a stereo audio lead to connect it to my parent's FM radio in the kitchen, I used to record songs I liked from the Sunday chart show onto a cassette. I mean A specific cassette. I couldn't afford many, and my 1976 pop songs cassette was a Boots C60, with trendy orange and yellow sleeve insert.

Having moved house a couple of times in the past couple of years, I'm not sure I still have that cassette. It probably didn't work anyway - the little felt pad designed to press the tape onto the tape head used to fall out of Boots C60s quite regularly.

I definitely don't have my Grundig cassette player any more. But I do have multiple high-spec multi-megabyte computers, high-speed broadband internet access, two iPods, a copy of iTunes, and an account at the online store.

So recreating my old cassette should be a breeze!

And it was. I found lists of chart hits from the mid-70s on the web, identified about 25 that I remembered and liked and taped at the time, and set out to recreate that ancient 1976 Boots C60.

About four of the songs weren't available on iTunes, but amazingly 21 songs on my list were. For some reason, I decided 20 was a better, rounder number, so one would have to go. The song that didn't make the cut was "Right Back Where We Started From" by Maxine Nightingale. I recorded it at the time, but decided I only vaguely remembered it now.

As I left Sainsburys to head home, I felt a strange sense of normalcy returning to my world. Even taking my car over the speed humps in the Sainsburys car park didn't hurt. Thanks to the supreme care taken of me by my lovely wife, my neck is on the mend, and I'm feeling good!

On the A4260, heading south, I switched on the radio. Steve Wright was still going. He immediately played "Right Back Where We Started From" by Maxine Nightingale from 1976. As Janet and I would once have said... SHID! [shakes head in disbelief]. He did of course announce both title and artist (and indeed year) at the end of the song, because I already knew.

I actually remembered it a lot better than I thought, and I sang joyfully along with practically every word. I may only be back where I started from, but for me that's a pretty good place to be right now.

Ms Nightingale can be sure her royalties will keep coming in. I'll make sure I download the track when I've finished posting this.

---

PS - Turns out there is a "Radio 2 Playlist", but that's just a list of the current play-em-to-death favourites. Steve Wright does however post a list of the songs he plays... check out the Music Played link from Steve Wright's main page.

Farewell Fidel...

I see that Fidel Castro is stepping down as President of Cuba. No doubt the bookies already have Martin O'Neill as odds-on favourite to replace him...

I can exclusively reveal...

...that Doctor Rowan Williams is an anagram of Doctor in Islam Law Row. How appropriate.

The fact that Williams is apparently "shocked" at the response to his ideas is indicative not of intolerance in British society, but of the degree to which he is out of touch with real people and simple common sense.

If he wishes to influence British law, then he should get himself elected. Which would be a mere comment on my part.... except for the rather worrying fact that Williams is, solely by dint of his religious position, a member of the House of Lords.

I can't think of a better argument for the immediate and permanent removal of all Bishops from the House of Lords, thereby ending their unelected influence over British law...

Just the Two of Them...

It was at least 25 years ago that I found myself enthralled by the sound of Yazoo, an electronic pop duo comprising Vince Clarke and Alison Moyet, now planning to reunite for a tour, just like Led Zep and the Spice Girls. (Two separate reunions, just in case you raised an eyebrow.)

I got to see them (Yazoo, that is) play live the first time around, at the Dominion Theatre on Tottenham Court Road if my aging memory serves me correctly. I loved their minimalist electronic sound and great songs. I still do. They only ever released two albums.

More recently I found myself watching a recording of Later with Jools Holland from 14 December last year, during which I was equally enthralled with another him'n'her duo... The Ting Tings.

This pair are so minimalist they make Yazoo sound rich and complex and yet since seeing them perform That's Not My Name on the show, I haven't been able to get the track out of my head. Monophonic, unintelligible, and yet somehow completely brilliant. So far they only seem to have released a couple of singles, but nonetheless, I must thank them for brightening the start of 2008!

Their performance from Jules' show is available on YouTube... though the aspect ratio is a bit wonky. Their BBC Glastonbury set is also online. I imagine I'm too old to be allowed in to see them live, but who knows... perhaps I'll get to see them on their reunion tour in about 2030....!!

Priests Nearby...

... and Presbyterians are both anagrams of Britney Spears. Isn't that amazing!

If you have five minutes to waste, check out the Internet Anagram Server, one of my favourite sites!

Not-So-Super Tuesday...

Today is Super Tuesday in The United States and Shrove Tuesday here in the UK. America will be watching democracy in action while Britain will be munching pancakes and holding silly races.

Except Ripon, North Yorkshire, where traditional Pancake Day races have been cancelled for health and safety reasons.

I'll leave you to make your own jokes about tossers...

They're not yoking...

Indeed. Glad I've never done business with them!

Is it me?

Yesterday was January 31, 2008. Which meant that yesterday was Tax Deadline day in the UK. Yesterday was the day by which individuals who had been sent a Tax Return needed to return it to Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (HMRC) in order to avoid a possible late-filing penalty. They could return it in person, or by post, or even online.

Except, being HMRC, the online return system collapsed yesterday, meaning that those who were planning to register online had a problem. Being from an IT background, I have of course always avoided the online returns system like the plague. But I digress.

HMRC, you will recall, are the organisation who recently put two CDs in an unregistered envelope and posted them. Neither the envelope nor the CDs have ever been seen again. At least, not by HMRC or the Police. Which is a worry, as the unencrypted discs contain the name, date of birth and home address of every child in the country, as well as the names and bank account details of their parents.

As we in IT say, "Oops".

The failure of a tax return system is, by comparison, a minor glitch. Nonetheless, today HMRC have generously given UK taxpayers an extra day to file their return online.

At least, that's what they think. Their website confidently says:

Over 200,000 Self Assessment returns were successfully filed online on Thursday 31st January with a record 3.7 million online returns filed in total. However problems with the service meant that some taxpayers experienced difficulties filing online.

HMRC takes any disruption of service very seriously and to reflect this everyone who files electronically or by paper by midnight Friday 1 February will be treated as having filed on time.

We very much regret any inconvenience this may have caused.

Is it me? My understanding is that the original deadline expired at 23:59 last night. Midnight (00:00) on 1 February occurred 1 minute later. Your new deadline, dear HMRC, is effectively the same as your old deadline. I think you meant midnight on 2 February, didn't you?

Then again, given recent events, perhaps it shouldn't come as a surprise to learn that HMRC's IT department can't tell the time.

A quick summary of Christmas so far...

Merry Christmas Everyone!